All of sudden I just picture myself walking, carrying a sunflower vase against my chest, on the streets of a city I cannot recognize, and thats it, just a scene I cannot avoid having, it just comes like this.
I remember I never really had a sunflower but when I was nine, during the rain period, many of them grew naturally on our garden from the seeds we used to feed our parrot, the same parrot who died many years later when I finally left home. They say they cannot accept goodbyes, the parrots, they stop eating because of the impossibility of accepting the depart of a beloved one.
My dad took two months to tell me about his death and that hurted, I didn't know he liked me that much, I remember we use to sing together during long afternoons inside my childhood and his caged bird solitude. His prision was since always a silent pain for me and when I left I kind of set him free, I should have found a better way though, but I never did, I never...
What is it to be a kid who talks with trees and fear having the knee forever trapped to the fence bars, I used to hide myself behind the couch without telling anyone we were playing hide and seek, fall asleep and wake up hours later with dad calling my name like a crazy, thinking I had been kidnapped or something worse. That's all being a father is about, I guess.
I saved his life twice, on voluntary and unvontulary ways, I just saved his life twice while he gave me mine, how big is that.
Lucky is a family that can normally live in the same house and happily play after six hour hostage followed by a death threat, lucky is that family or that girl talking to the trees.
I wait until they say "yes" or "no" by waving or not waving the leaves with the wind and next to me is the sunflower vase.
It's all a matter of time, space and three thousand different possible expressions.
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Fleet Foxes - Blue Ridge Mountain
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